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F-Stop Blues

when stars were still just the holes to heaven

9/28/09 05:46 pm - I feel fall.

Funny how the glimmer of a season reminds me that I even have this journal and makes me immediately want to write about it.

12/6/08 08:37 am - It's a marshmallow world in the winter.

So it seems I've passed another semester of vet school.  We are three, count one two three, semesters into the curriculum, and three semester from the finish (plus one year of clinics.)  My, how the time flies and what a humbling experience it has been.  To study more than I ever have in my life to fight for what were once deemed "mediocre" grades has been the big slap in the face.  Of course there are other students who have managed to maintain that elusive 4.0.  My hat is off to them.  I would just like to graduate with a 3!

I adopted a new dog from our surgery course this semester.  She is a 45 pound black and white hound mix.  At times, she looks very Great Dane-ish (but not that large, thank goodness.)  She came from the Johnston County animal shelter, and her pound name was "Sabina."  I have no other history than that, for I could not get in touch with the shelter.  She may have very well come from a home, considering her good body condition and loveable nature.

So I brought this goofball home and promptly named her "Goose" (and props to those who catch the Top Gun reference!)  She is 100% play hard, 100% snuggle (which is rather obnoxious when a 45 pound dog is crawling into your personal space), 100% food motivated, and 200% squirrel motivated.  You note that no where in that list is "I enjoy relaxing and resting and peaceful strolls on the beach..."  No, what you read was "I enjoy invigorating walks with wildlife, obnoxious cuddling and displays of affection, and eating your dinner."  But she's a charmer, with those big brown hound dog puppy eyes.  For those who know Bree, she is tolerating Goose well.

Also during the middle of the semester (not such a wise choice) I moved.  I am by myself, but I haven't quite yet had the chance to feel lonely.  Of course, how can you with two dogs and two cats tripping you up every minute.  For those who would like my address, just let me know and I'll give it to you.

Meanwhile, the Christmas season has arrived.  This means excessive Christmas music playing and it should mean holiday decorating.  However, I will be lucky to have unpacked and organized by Christmas.  I resolved not to get a tree this year, which saddens me.  But I will have my own two dogs, plus Rachel's Penny and Vita over Christmas, and I already forsee a toppled tree.  Alas, the Christmas music will have to do.  My new favorite for this year is Darlene Love's "Marshmallow World."

Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas.

9/24/08 07:49 pm - Happy lovely perfectly wonderful fall.


Happy fall.

Finally a year where the first week of fall actually feels like fall.  Which means it feels like home, in the this is what I feel like sense of home.  This year we finally avoided an Indian Summer.  It's just so nice to wake up at walk the dog when it's 54 degrees and have the day warm up to somewhere in the seventies...  And it was blustery today.  And we all know how I feel about blustery days.

I was driving to meet my mother this afternoon down US1 and the sun was setting to my right.  It was just about to dip past the tree line and below the horizon, right when the gold gets very intense.  All of the trees lit up in an instant before my eyes, and I saw my first red leaves in the amber light.  Yes, fall is here.  At last.

There is much more to comment on how I perform my first surgery this week as surgeon and how I've been practicing violin for a wedding and how I miss Brian and how the dog has fleas.  But it is fall and that is all I want to say for now.

:)

7/23/08 08:57 pm - Clinical Pathology Lab Ponderings

There's 21 minutes left on my cooking crossmatch.  Perhaps at the end of this incubation, Puppy's blood will be happy and not react with the donor cells and Puppy gets a transfusion and lives happily ever after and I go home to bed.

This is the second time I've been called in in less than 24 hours.  Last night at 1:30am and today at 7:30, only two hours after I went home.  But this is what I signed up for, and I'm not complaining.  You have to keep it in the perspective that you wouldn't be called in to do this lab test if it wasn't vital to Puppy's survival.

So it's been a while, I know.  But I'm always here reading.  Alan mostly.  Occassionally someone else has something to say.  It's not that I haven't had the time, I've just been out of this virtual communication world.  When was the last time you talked to me on AIM?  Exactly.  I've become a phone girl.  Scary.  So call me.

Summer is nearly over and I'm not quite ready to go back to school.  But I don't want to pour my complaints about my worries and frustrations about vet school right now.  I'm sure you'll get enough of that later.

So here's my summer update:

1.  We have a new roommate.  You may call him Captain Ginger Snaps.  He's here for summer boot camp.  At first, Margot tried to kill him.  Now the roles are reversed and he goes after my sweet innocent bug-eyed Finn.  We've settled into a routine in which Margot and Finn have run of the house during the day and G-Snaps has run of the house at night time.  Even compromise.  And they are out together, but only when supervised and usually a kitty is leashed.  But he is having a marvelous time, Margaret.  He loves to be brushed, and to wake me up at night when he wants more water.  He also loves lounging in Bree's kennel.  It's quite popular with the kitties...

2.  I've been to the beach a few times.  Brian and I took a day trip with Bree to Topsail.  I did my yearly trip with Karen and Kari to Topsail.  And I hit up the Spoleto Festival in Charleston with Rachel, Zach, Ernie, Brian, Simone and Brian (my Brian.)  I need more beach action.  

3.  We went to Indiana July 4th weekend for my grandparents 50th anniversary.  It's an impressive feat and inspiring if I do say so myself.  On a sadder note, my grandfather has been diagnosed with cancer and has spent the summer undergoing treatments.   They're pushing along, making the best of their time together.  It's a blessing to know two people that love each other so much.

4.  I've been working in the clin path lab in the vet school hospital forty hours a week this summer.  And on call hours starting now and continuing through my next two years of school.  What do we do?  Well, just like when you pee in a cup at the doctors office, and it goes somewhere and the doctors get results...well inbetween those steps is the clin path lab.  We take blood, pee, spinal fluid, poop, bile, and any other fluid/tissue you can get from an animal and turn it into fancy diagnostic results.  Fancy, huh?

I'm running out of things to say.  6 minutes left on my crossmatch.

4/13/08 07:59 pm - Wishing for summer

So I'm doing everything I can not to think about this upcoming week of tests.  However, I'm very prepared to study.  Lots of study guides, books and notes at hand.  The actually serious studying just hasn't begun yet.  And so I am here updating...something I haven't been so good at lately.

Vet school is...well, you've caught me at a bad time.  2 finals down and 5 to go and Cassandra just isn't the happiest peach.  It's been a rough semester, but we're about to cross that one year hurdle and it will be nice to come back next year without the stigma of being "first years" (very Harry Potter-ish, I know.)  In my down time these past few weeks (down time?!) I played in the vet school volley ball tournament when since has turned into a procrastinator's dream.  We have a sand court outside the cafeteria at school, and there's a group of us that plays every few days when we can.  It's the first time I've been excited about being at school.  And though my studies are lacking at a crucial time in the semester, I'm outside doing something that I like to pretend counts as exercise.  

After exams are over, we have 2 weeks of selectives.  My first week is farrier medicine, and I'll be shadowing a farrier one on one for the whole week.  I have high hopes for that one.  My second week is bovine nutrition...so if you've got a cow, I'm going to learn how to feed it.  Promptly following selectives I start my new job in clinical pathology in the hospital.  I'll be part of a group of students that will be responsible for weekends and the on call hours of the lab for the next 2 years.  This summer is a full time position in which we are trained in all aspects of the lab...running blood samples, transfusion crossmatches...etc.  It will also be an opportunity to meet some of the clinicians up in the hospital.  I do forsee two downfalls of the job:  1) no windows in the lab and 2) no animal contact, just their blood/tissue samples/other bodily fluids.

Meg and Marc's wedding was yesterday.  They were both beautiful.  :)  Evernyone was nervous about the weather, but it turned in to a beautiful spring day.  And what's a spring day without the threat of an April thunderstorm?  I feel that everyone feels the same sentiment that no one gets to see enough of anyone these days and weddings are a good excuse to see people you haven't in a while.  It was nice to catch up.  It's just amazing how the time flies.  Only yesterday Meg and I were lying on her kitchen floor, our bellies stuffed with dozens of home-grown tomatos.

I should be getting back to studying.  I'll post soon.

10/6/07 03:10 am - one two three four

 I feel like writing when other people write.  Call it inspiration.  As Karen said, call it October.  Call it what you will.

There was a recent tropical storm named Karen.  I was jealous.  I always wanted a storm named after me.

I was called in tonight for my first emergency colic.  Nothing too terrible, it was mild, at least for now.  They drove all the way from the Virginia Beach area.  I'm just glad I'm still excited about all of this.

This past week was, well, terrible.  Three tests in three days.  I know I shouldn't complain, it can and probably will get a lot worse.  But I was just so burned out by Thursday.  Wednesday night all I could think about was how on earth I was going to stay up and study for the cardio test.  And on question 25 and an hour into my cardio test I was wondering to myself how I would make it through the final 25 questions.  

Well, I made it.  Somehow.  And the week turned around for the better.  

I'm ready for fall break.

7/5/07 11:33 pm - Tina's here, we're getting back together.

Hey, give us a minute...

I love those commercials. Almost as much as I love those old Citi Bank identity theft commercials.  I even downloaded that song that plays in the airport one. However, I am skeptical of the tv show ABC is making in the fall. Too much of a good thing? Eh, let's not spoil it like Pirates of the Caribbean.

Eh.  Work was long today, even though I was only there for six hours.  Erin and I had a beer at the Back 9 afterwards.  This is becoming habitual.  I like my coworkers.  But as I learn more and more about Erin and Paula and Mit I realize that we wouldn't normally hang out outside of work.  We just have completely different lifestyles.  It's easy to say I'm much more boring, but I'm content with what I do in my spare time, so I'll settle for different.

I'm excited about starting school soon.  It will be a nice diversion.

I miss Cheese.

7/3/07 01:15 pm - Live Free Or

According to my ticket stub, that's the movie I saw last night. Live free or what? Cliff hanger.

So I hadn't laughed that hard in a long while. It's the same reason I intentionally watch movies with Karen. You can laugh as hard as you want during the most awkward moments because you know she's going to laugh harder and during the even awkwarder moments.

I'm trying my best to get back in shape. I've taken up running (again), mostly at Umstead. I've also been exploring other parks like Hemlock Bluffs. I've also taken up tennis. I'm sure it's terrible to watch me play, considering I haven't played really since seventh grade. But it's fun. I'm also continuing my lifting regimen, which entails lifting dogs that are close to my body weight at the vet hospital. I also get to play with puppies and kittens, which is what I tell everyone my job is all about.

Brian and I are taking a week long vacation the week before orientation starts for vet school. Planning it gives me something to think about during the day, which tends to be monotonous at times, so I'm counting a lot on this trip. We're going to start in the mountains, visit camp, go hiking, and meander our way down Interstate-40 to the coast to get some beach action. We'll go to the aquarium and camp on the beach and the like. If any of you have any suggestions on places to hike (mostly around the Asheville area) or vineyards to visit...or gem mines (Brian's insisting)...or great places to eat across the state, or other exciting activities, let me know.

I'm going to make a conscious effort to update more. Until next time, live free or

6/17/07 12:13 pm - woo! survey!

A — Available or Married?
technically, available

B — Best Friend(s)?
my highschool girls and sarah and rachel. and john, heh.

C — Cake or Pie?
peach pie.

D — Drink of Choice?
my new favorite beer is Chimay. otherwish i like water.

E — Essential Item?
underwear

F — Favorite Color?
cerulean. and green.

G — Gummi Bears or Worms?
i don't like gummi things.

H- Hometown?
sanford

I — Indulgence?
good books

J — January or February?
january.

K — Kids and Names?
3 or 4. I don't have any really good names right now.

L — Life is incomplete without?
collie puppies.

M — Marriage Date?
after vet school.

N — Number of Siblings?
3

O —Oranges or Apples?
oranges

P — Phobias/Fears?
being told i really wasn't admitted to vet school. it was all a mistake.

Q — Favorite Quote(s)?
i have a tornado every 6 minutes of my life.

R — Reason to Smile?
brian. sarah and valerie. all my friends. my happy shirt. bree and finn.

S — Season?
fall.

T — Tag 3 People!
kari. greg. karen.

U — Unknown Fact About Me:
i have a huge birth mark that bisects my abdomen.

V — Very favorite___:
album: jack johnson, brushfire fairy tales

W — Worst Habit?
getting upset easily.

X — (my choice):
xylophone

Y — Your favorite food?
pasta.

Z — Zodiac?
libra.

6/6/07 03:21 pm - First post from 6151.

That's right, no more 4942. This is the longest I've lived in one place, excluding my home in Sanford. I was in the dorms for nine months at a time twice and I've been in 4942 for two years. Sadness. However, I am very excited about this new place. Hopefully I'll be here the next two years, and with any luck, the next four.

We've painted the main living areas colors inspired by an artichoke cross-section. Green, pale amber yellow and wine-red-purple. And my room is much bigger and Breelet's crate actually fits in here. Housewarming party will soon follow once all painting/decorating is done and MeCaSa/VaCaSa/4942 is cleaned and vacated. So I guess that makes this house VaCa...isn't that spanish for cow?

The beach was just what I needed. Fourth summer there an perhaps the best company with Kari, Karen and Kareen (all my Kar's!) There's not much I need to say. I'd just like to note that this is the second tropical storm Kari and I have faced at the beach. Heh. I love it. I shall miss Karen all grown up and moving to Ohio. We shall become penpals again. And I am making note to see Kari and Kareen more often. This was the first time I saw each of them since NYC.

You must all come see the new place once we're settled in. Summer has been very busy. I hope it settles down soon.
Current Location: 6151

5/7/07 01:09 pm - ...

Leave a comment and I'll...

1. Tell you why I friended you.
2. Associate you with something - a song, a color, a photo, etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Associate you with a character.
6. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
7. Tell you my favorite user picture of yours.
8. In return, you must post this in your LJ.

3/1/07 03:11 pm - procrastination. i'm not gonna lie.

The Dirty Thirty... 30 unknown facts/secrets about yourself:

1. In two words, explain what ended your last relationship?
does non-committal count as 2 words?

2. When was the last time you shaved your legs?
the other day. but that was the first time in over a week.

3. What were you doing this morning at 8am?
pretty sure i was sleeping.

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
deciding my to-do list for spring break.

5. Are you any good at math?
i'll brag a bit and say i'm pretty darn good.

6. Last night what did you do?
went to the Wake game, talked to brian and went to bed.

7. Do you have any famous ancestors?
not a one.

8. Have you ever burped infront of the opposite sex?
yes.

9. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace page?
yes.

10. Last thing you received in the mail?
cable bill.

11. How many different beverages have you drank today?
1. sarah's lemonade.

13. What do you wish for?
to get accepted to ncsu.

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
yes. and i make cigarette smoking fish to swim alongside karen's mermaid.

15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
my one filling.

16. What is outside of your back door?
concrete patio. bicycle. 2 plastic chairs. some dormant potted plants.

17. Any plans for Friday night?
cleaning up the place and catching up on sleep.

18. Do you like the ocean?
yes, i do.

19. you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?
not personally.

20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
yes.

21. Do you miss someone right now?
several someones.

22. Something you are excited about?
thursday.

23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO?
lime.

24. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
no.

25. Describe your keychain.
car keys, bike lock key, apt/mailbox keys, keys to random veterinary establishments, dog's old rabies tag, discount cards to grocery stores, discount cards to pet stores, whistle, light, rosary

26. Where do you keep your change?
pockets, wallet, bottom of purse, a big empty hawaiian punch bottle...

27. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?
tuesday night at the brothers meeting

28. What kind of winter coat do you have?
northface

29. WHERE IS IT???
on my bedroom floor

30. Can you tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue?
that's a negative, ghost rider

2/25/07 09:45 pm - whew.

Eleven states (That's 1/5 of the country, and one new state for me I might add, I'd never been to Alabama), too many tanks of gas to remember, several days of driving, several days of missed school, quality time with Sarah, my mother, my father, and my grandparents, missed time with my boyfriend, three stressful interviews, one new suit and two weeks later, I've been admitted to Illinois University for veterinary medicine. Only one week to hear back from the one that really counts.... (But at least I'm going somewhere.)

Oh, and I forgot the TWO snowstorms I managed to escape!

My travels from February 9-25:

1/25/07 07:59 am - This one is always fun

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press Play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the Next button.
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.
7. Don't skip songs =)

(1) Opening credits: I'm Afraid of Americans (David Bowie)

(2) Waking Up: Song Sung Blue (Neil Diamond)

(3) First day at school: Tiny Vessels (Death Cab for Cutie)

(4) Fight song: Be Our Guest (Beauty and the Beast)

(5) Breaking up: Chicago (Tony Bennet and Count Basie)

(6) Happiness: Underwater Love (Smoke City)

(7) Life's okay: Last Beautiful Girl (Matchbox 20)

(8) Mental breakdown: Rythm of the Rain (Daniel Fogleberg)

(9) Driving: Andante from Concerto No. 21 in C Major, K. 476 "Elvira Madigan"

(10) Flashback: Gravedigger [acoustic] (Dave Matthews)

(11) Getting back together: Jack and Diane (John Mellencamp)

(12) Wedding: Between the Bars (Elliot Smith)

(13) Birth of a child: She's Always a Woman (Billy Joel)

(14) Final battle: Siva (The Smashing Pumpkins)

(15) Death scene: City Love (John Mayer)

(16) Funeral song: Can You Feel the Love Tonight (The Lion King)

(17) End credits: Killer Queen (Queen)

I kind of like it. Heh.

1/5/07 11:14 am - New Years Resolutions

In 2007, bagoose resolves to...
Cut down to ten ben folds a day.
Become a better fall.
Get back in contact with some old quoting movies.
Eat more musicians.
Start a mozart fund.
Find a new october.
Get your own New Year's Resolutions:



I was quite amused by these. However the eating more musicians is quite disturbing. Perhaps if my peach pies take up the mandolin that's alright.

12/31/06 09:37 am - New Years

For anyone I've forgotten to tell or haven't been able to get a hold of, we're doing a small New Years get together at my apt tonight. Claudia and I are making desserts, but if there's one you like, make it and bring it. If you need any directions, etc., you know the digits. Call or im. So, 9ish. Be there or be trapezoidal.

12/8/06 05:42 am - We got a Christmas tree.

His name is Frasier.

12/7/06 05:42 pm - I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.

That was always one of my favorite Christmas songs. The Drifters. I remember being five and standing by the window on Christmas Eve just so sad that there wasn't any snow. Then on the way home from Mass that evening it started to flurry.

I'm in very much a Christmas mood. I mentioned in passing to Valerie that I wish we could get a Christmas tree. And so it is done. We are getting a tree today and I'm going home later this afternoon to decorate.

I hate how everyone is so busy. I hate how I am so busy. I hate how I've been housesitting for 8 days now and I'm not done for another 2. I miss my bed. I miss my dog. I miss my cat. I miss my roommates. I miss my friends.

It's Christmas and we should all get together. I hear Kareen requests kareoke.

And may all your Christmases be white.

11/9/06 03:01 am - Mushaboom.

It's been a long day. It comes down to the fact that my computer crashed and I have to get the hard drive replaced. But it's ok. It was just stressful.

I've been doing swell lately. I like the word swell. APO frustrates me, I'm having to really focus on staying motivated with classes, and there's a gazillion other issues going on in my life. But I'm swell.

Pennsylvania was more fun that I could have ever expected it to be. Even the getting lost part.
Current Music: feist.

10/24/06 10:06 am - October's still here.

It's very cold outside.  I renewed my membership with the APO Swim Team this morning and was initiated with 34 degree weather.  Needless to say, 34 degrees isn't as refreshing as it could be when you are wearing a wet swim suit.

But I do love the cold.  Especially now that I am clad in warm clothes.  Jacket.  Scarf.  Mittens. 

Things in school have been going pretty well.  I'm feeling much more confident about the semester than I formerly did.  Things in general have been going well, although I've still been very busy.

Let's see.  October.  It's already the 24th and it only feels like the month just began.  We got a new addition to our household.  A cat formerly named "Trouble," remaned "Margot," and nicknamed "Patches."  That brings the grand total to 2 dogs, 2 cats, 3 parakeets (oh yea, I got a stray parakeet this month too, her name is "Schweety"), and 2 fish tanks.  To to mention our pet sea lion named "Simba," a favorite pet of Sarah and I that we got whil living in 209B Lee Hall.  It is quite the menagerie.

It's crazy to think this is the last year for many of us.  All of my applications have been submitted and now it's a wait and see game until January when I hope to recieve calls for interviews.  All say for NCSU, who has everything that will determine whether or not I get in.  No interview.  I'm nervous.  But I'm trying to have too good of a time right now not to notice.

I went running in Umstead yesterday.  Bree was off leash for the majority of our run.  She made me proud and didn't stray far from my side.  It made the run more enjoyable.  Chasing her.  Her chasing me.  Not having to worry that she will pull me down a slippery rocky path.  It was hard to pay attention where I was going though.  The trees are so beautiful right now.  There were many occassions where I nearly did major damage to an ankle.  Thank goodness for strong ankles.  I could just run on side walks or in the gym, but of course I insist upon runnong on uneven paths with rocks, branches, roots, etc. jumping out.  It the only place I can get any real distance in. 

I got into a good stride around the 4th mile or so.  I was real impressed.  Usually I'm spent by then, but it just got easier.  I liked the feeling.
Current Location: D. H. Hill LIbrary, 2nd floor, overlooking Hillsborough St.
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